Sean’s Girl, Rachel

Sean talks about their new little girl, Rachel, who came from the same children’s home as our batch of kids. Read about that, and the other stuff Sean’s doing, over here.

Preschool and On

I got a really great idea from someone while we were in the States. Running two blogs makes it hard to think up topics all the time. So my friend suggested whenever I had trouble thinking of a post, I could throw up a picture (since I keep forgetting to do that anyway) and talk about it.

As part of our schedule (such that it is), Cindy teaches the kids in English every morning. Here she’s singing a song with them. That’s Josiah in the front, and in the back there’s Isaac, Rachel (Sean and Prang’s new girl), Joel, Abigail, Sam, and Nathan.

When Cindy’s done, Prang teaches them in Thai. And I help out (a little) by doing the English bit on Fridays. When it was just Isaac, Nathan, and Abby, teaching was just reading to them, asking them questions, playing any game at all… Now it’s more like a real school. There’s so many of them! (On the plus side, there are lot more games you can play with 7 kids rather than 3.)

In the next year or two, Joel will have to start real school, and the other boys a year after that. Cindy and I have been talking a lot about what we want to do. Thai law forbids us from homeschooling any kids that are not legally ours, but we want more for our kids than the Thai educational system can currently provide. We could homeschool Isaac and Anica — and any children we manage to adopt — but we fear there’d be a sense of separation or favoritism between “our kids” and everybody else. We don’t want that either. Unfortunately what few options we have will cost either a lot of time or money.

It’ll be okay though. God will take care of us and them. In the meantime, we’ll keep doing what we’re doing.

Because I’m Crazy

When people hear we just took in 4 kids — or that we have 9 kids altogether, or that we’re trying to adopt a blind girl into this already-huge family — they think we’re crazy. Before the kids came, I’d get upset when people implied we didn’t know what we’re doing, or that we won’t be able to handle it. But I wasn’t upset because they didn’t trust  me or anything. I was upset because, deep down, I was afraid they were right.

Cindy and I talked about our fears a couple days before they arrived. It helps me to put my fears into words, as otherwise I worry a lot and don’t really understand why. I was afraid the kids would be defiant — either now or in the future. I was afraid I’d fail them somehow. I was afraid I wouldn’t spend enough time with them, or I’d spend so much time with them that I’d do nothing else.

Later I realized that I only had one fear, really: I was afraid they wouldn’t love me. Even before they showed up, I was more than ready to love them, but I can’t control how they feel about me (as I already well know). It’s just one of the risks of this job.

Then I remembered I’m not doing this job because I think I can. I’m doing it because God asked me to. By that logic — which isn’t really logic at all — I am crazy. And that’s the whole point.

So I’m still afraid I’ll screw up sometimes, and I get stressed out when they fight or lie or won’t talk to me. But I know who to go to for help. After all, if he asked me to do it, he’d better enable me to do it. If he didn’t, my failure wouldn’t really be my fault — it’d be inevitable. Fortunately we serve a faithful God.

And when people say I’m crazy, I don’t get upset. I just smile and say, “Yep, that’s about ri– HEY! STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER!”

Day 8

Praise the Lord! We’re surviving and doing well! It’s been 8 days since our new kids have arrived. Lots of ups and downs, but life is always like that anyway. Tonight, Adam had to pick up our friend from the city, so he took 6 kids with him, leaving just Pan, Lu, and Anica with me. It was the quietest our house has been in a long time. The girls and I enjoyed the peace and quiet and had a chance to chat and have some ice cream. (Don’t tell Adam, but we finished the chocolate ice cream.) I asked them how they were feeling about the new kids. Pan said she was first a bit afraid life would be crazy and not like a family, but now she’s really happy they’re here. Lu just said she’s glad they’re here too. What a blessing! It’s wonderful to see both of them being the big sisters and playing with all the kids.

As for me, it’s not at all as crazy as I thought it would be. I was used to spending a lot more time with Isaac and Nathan, playing with them, reading to them, etc. But now, they are always playing with someone else. There’s never a shortage of people to play with. I actually just miss them more, because we don’t have as much time together. I’ll have to be more intentional about spending time with each of my kids. Plus, the same goes for spending time with Adam and God too. Pray for that.

Adam and I celebrated our 10th anniversary on the 12th. We didn’t expect to be able to get away from the kids for a date, but praise God we did! How amazing is it that within 1 week of getting 4 new kids, we felt comfortable leaving Pan and Lu in charge of everyone! Lisa Gavin was also there to help, but she said that Pan and Lu had it down! Adam and I (and Anica) got to enjoy some Italian food and ice cream, along with some good conversation and time away from the kids.

Life is good.  Thanks, God! 

Pictures of the New Family

Here are Sarah, Joel (w/ Isaac), Samuel, and Josiah. See a lot more pictures here.

Family +4

They moved in on Saturday. Sarah is 8 years old and in second grade. She’s used to being the oldest, and so is extremely helpful and respectful.

Her brother-by-birth is Joel, age 5.  He’s now the oldest of five boys. He’s clever and loud. He doesn’t like being punished, but he likes very much to show me when he’s good.

Then there’s Samuel and Josiah, both age 4. We met these guys when they first came to the children’s home as infants. They’ve grown up together and might as well be brothers.

We’re still in the early stages, where we’re trying to teach the kids what our authority means, where their boundaries are, and we’re trying to find a system to settle into (showers/bedtimes are particularly nuts). Isaac and Nathan have taken to the boys very well. Nathan and Joel compete for who’s the loudest. Isaac’s Thai is improving dramatically now that he has a chance to use it.

And all of them keep each other entertained. When Pan, Alaypa, and Lutiya first came to live with us, they didn’t know what to do with themselves and we felt like we had to keep them busy all the time. But these boys know perfectly well what to do (mostly ride their bikes around and around the house for hours), and our main job is trying to keep them reined in.

Pan and Lu are adopting Sarah into their older girls’ clique. They’re getting to know each other more slowly, but they’re getting to know each other, and that’s what counts.

And Anica loves her older brothers too. Normally if we put her down, she cries and cries, insisting someone pick her up and walk her around. But the other day she sat in her crib for TWO HOURS just watching the boys run around. It was amazing.

So that’s our new family. Also, it looks as though we will be taking over as the official directors of Ban Suk Jai. That’s not as crazy as it sounds. Ban Suk Jai is the children’s home where these kids have come from. Of their eight children, four now live with us, and a fifth will probably be living with Sean and Prang. So becoming “directors” is mostly a formality. It means some more reports for us, but also the friendship and legal covering of the Haven Foundation. This is really a God thing because the people who run the foundation are the same people we know from our church here.

I’ll get pictures up here soon. And no news yet on Pancake. We’ll let you know what happens with that too. Keep praying!

Four New Kids

You read that right. Sometime in the next week or so, four new kids will be moving in to our home.

They come from a children’s home run by friends of ours. After a few years of managing the home, our friends decided they couldn’t give the kids what they need: a real family, with parents who don’t take a day off every week — parents who don’t quit and get replaced every year or two. Once they made this very difficult decision, they needed to find homes for their eight children. Since what they wanted was exactly what we do, we offered to take in as many as we thought we could handle.

There’s one girl, age 8, and three boys, ages 4, 4, and 3. (I’ll give you names and pictures later). We visited them at their home on Saturday and had them here for a while yesterday. They know what’s happening, and all of them seem pretty cool about it — even excited.

Isaac took to the boys right away. Nathan was a little more shy, but he’ll get used to it. We all will. We’ve been through this before. It’ll be weird for a while. The new kids will have to learn new boundaries, and respect for new authority figures. Our current kids will have to learn how to share their space and their stuff. But after about two or three months, it will feel as if our family has always had 11 people.

Well, twelve people, once Pancake comes. That’s still happening any day now (we think).

Cindy and I wobble between confidence and stress. Fortunately we are also getting a helper from the children’s home who will be here during the weekdays. Someone the kids already know. Someone who can help with non-essential stuff like cleaning and cooking lunches better than PB&J (being my personal default). Someone who can be a third set of eyes and hands and attention.

That’s all I can think of for the moment. I’ll answer any questions in the comments, assuming I can answer them.

Whytey’s Here (and Other Fairly Major Highlights)

This has been a busy, busy week full of very important things. Everything is kinda happening at once. So read carefully in case you miss something:

• firewatching.com got hacked. You’ve probably noticed the blog has changed, not only appearance, but location. That’s because some nasty malware got hooked onto the old site. We’re safe here, but I don’t have as much control (although it’s free, so I’m not complaining). My only fear now is that we’ll lose some readers, but I figure if you want to find us, you will.
• Our family got convicted about piracy. Piracy is pretty rampant here, to the point where it’s actually more difficult to buy legit movies/software than the cheap copies. But last week we talked about it and decided to go totally legal. It took some time to find everything we own that infringes on somebody’s copyright.
• We met with a guy looking for homes for eight children. We told him some time ago that we’d take in 3 or 4, but only after Anica was born and we returned from America. That’s happening now. Pretty soon we’ll probably have big news in this area.

All that stuff happened, and it was still only Monday. It gets better:

• Social worker came about Pancake. If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you know we talked with someone about fostering Pancake while we’re waiting for the adoption process to go through. This is ideal, since obviously we’d rather have her in our family sooner than later. The social worker was very nice and it sounds as though we may have Pancake here this week(!).
• Nathan’s birth mom is visiting. She lives in Finland with her husband, but both of them agreed to meet with us at City Hall so we could get some papers signed to (hopefully) enable us to adopt Nathan. We can’t start any process with Nathan until Pancake’s process is finished, and it also turns out we need to find another father of Nathan’s to sign. It’s pretty complex.
• Our friend, Chris Whyte, has come to visit. It’s pretty awesome, especially considering how chill he is to just join us living life. God’s doing some wacky stuff with him. I like that we get to be a part of that, even if it’s only as the hosts of his vacation. Especially since God stuff has a tendency to rub off on those involved.
• I got the worst headache I’ve ever had. Seriously, I don’t know what it is, but I couldn’t even sleep last night cuz it kept me awake. I saw the doctor today and got some meds, which are helping. I just hope it clears up soon. It makes it difficult to function, especially if we’re getting new kids.

Okay, I think that’s everything. Let me know if you have any questions. We’ll be happy to answer them.

Nathan Stuff

Tomorrow morning (Wednesday night PST) we’re meeting with Nathan’s mom to hopefully gain legal custody of Nathan. She’s only in Thailand for 2 weeks, so we’re hoping that everything works out without complications.

God is so good. When we first picked Nathan up, his mother was there, but we didn’t think to get contact info and such. We were just excited to take him in. Later on we found out that she moved out of the country, and we figured we’d never be able to get in touch with her. But a few months ago, God worked it out for us to be Facebook friends. Strange, huh?

Nathan is excited to meet his “Tummy Mommy” tomorrow. Please pray for him and all the details of tomorrow. We would LOVE to adopt him someday, but we’ll need God to pull a lot of strings. Pray for that too!

Update on Sean's Village Work

After being gone for a month, Sean and family are finally back from the village. Here’s what he’s been doing.